This already a spoiler to our TV Production group project on July 17. But unless no classmate of mine reads this entry, then I won't spoil the fun. I will be interviewed about my interest in turtles, that's why. I'm actually both nervous and excited about that project. But since that interview is just for five minutes, this entry will elaborate everything.
Let me start when my cousin's family gave me one of their turtles. I was in grade 2 then and the turtle was just as small as a mini compact powder. I placed it in a big peanut butter plastic bottle and gave it green and red pellets as food which was given by my uncle. I named it Estong after one of my cousin's friends because she named her hamster after one of her friends as well so I just imitated her. That was the first time I ever acquired a pet. Estong was my first pet. It is a turtle, a red-eared turtle by further research.
I loved Estong so much and I treated him like a brother. I fed him with a variety of pellets, fresh fish or meat, and reptile fee. I would talk to, greet, and bid goodbye to him each and every day. I would clean its jar regularly and never let a single moss build up around him.
He was fun to watch as he swam, crawled on the floor when I took him out of the jar, ate and chewed his food, closed and opened his eyes, went in and out of his shell, and responded to every stimuli around.
When father got him an aquarium at last, it was even more fun. Father and I imitated a setup in a pet shop we visited. We put a small pot in inverted position in the left side of the aquarium and filled the rest of the flooring with pebbles. When those improvements were made, Estong could already experience land and water inside his new habitat. It was cool to watch him climb on top of the pot and get dry then afterwards dive back to the water and get wet. Sometimes, he would even dig through the pebbles as if finding a buried treasure.
One time, when father was the one who cleaned Estong's aquarium, it broke accidentally. A big crack mark was imprinted on one side of the aquarium. I felt bad about it but there was nothing I could do. I just let him stay in a plastic jar again without the creative setup inside the bathroom. Once in a while, I would set him free in the bathroom floor. I would put him back in the jar before I would go to sleep.
There was a time when mother and I went somewhere and we got home late at night already. When mother went to the bathroom, she was surprised to see blood on the floor. I was so worried when mother called this out to me. I nearly cried when I saw the bloody Estong on a hidden corner of the bathroom. He was inside his shell as if afraid of something. When mother took him out, we saw some wounds on the sides of his face. She washed the blood away and poured Merthiolate on the wounds. I was just watching red-faced in front of these all. From then on, I never forgot to put him back in the jar again when I go out.
And who's our suspect to this? The rodent, the rat, the mouse, whatever you call it. We would always have a problem with the mice running around the house. Our hypothesis was that Estong had some battle with a mouse. He wasn't that small anymore at that time and his fingernails have grown long. I don't know, maybe he was even the first to attack when he came face to face with his opponent. Oh, well, I'm imagining things again like I'm an animator. Whatever happened that night, it didn't matter. That bloody experience felt like a call that I needed to be more responsible.
From as small and cute as a mini compact powder, of course, Estong grew into something much bigger than my hand. I realized his need for a bigger aquarium and maybe a companion. But ever since, the economic crisis has been a challenge for our family. There was a time when I really couldn't buy food for him anymore. Days became weeks and weeks became months. Mother talked to me and made me decide. Should I give up Estong or not?
It was a heartbreaking dilemma because I really loved Estong but I was already incapable of giving him a good life. I didn't want him to starve even though turtles could live as long as 150 years. He's not just a pet for my entertainment but also an animal which had a life. When I found out that my Ninong had this huge aquarium of turtles, I though maybe it's better if he would be there. I also thought of donating it to a zoo but I didn't want to go through the hassle. I also didn't want to sell him. No way! Imagine selling your brother! No way!
Others say that having a turtle as a pet is bad luck. I remember it was in those years that I had Estong when my parents separated and we had to move in to a different house because we couldn't afford to pay rent anymore. When I gave Estong to my Ninong, I was very sad. Father was gone. Estong was gone as well. But I never blamed Estong's presence with all the badluck. I despised the superstition with all my heart! It was never Estongs fault. Problems in peoples lives never concern an animal. I don't want to say bad words here so I'll stay calm.
From then on, I never saw Estong again. I also haven't seen my Ninong for a long time now. But Estong's pictures kept him alive and the other turtle stuff that I have. I guess that was the start of my interest in collecting inanimate turtles. Because I wasn't able to take care of a real turtle, then I'll show my love to the inanimate ones. I think that made me recover from my frustration and depression towards losing Estong. It became a medicine and a hobby at the same time.
As time passed by, I understood the role of having Estong and loving turtles in general in my life. The turtle gave me an inspiration and a definition of strength. The first thing that will come into a person's mind when he/she hears the word turtle is that it is slow. In Filipino, we even have the idioms "lakad-pagong" or "usad-pagong" which I never used. The turtle may be slow but only when it has grown up already that the shell becomes heavy. I have not seen slow-walking baby turtles, also Estong when I had him. And that's just the point. The turtle is not slow since birth. It is slow because it has a shell to carry. And that model of a turtle with a shell is what keeps me going strong no matter what. I am the turtle because no matter how heavy my burdens are, I'm still happy to live a life because once the shell is taken out off me, I won't live. Do you think the turtle can live without a shell? It's already part of his life. But other than a burden that makes it slow, it also protects him from harm. People say turtles carry their homes and that's just it. The shell may be his burden but it is also the turtle's home, his sanctuary, his refuge. The turtle isn't slow, it is strong. Its life is long. I myself want to live long that's why I idolize the turtle so much. I miss my Estong!
Later on, when i learned about the advocacy of PAWS or the Philippine Animal Welfare Society, I thought of giving up Estong as something beneficial. Animals, PAWS claims, should not be caged like in a zoo. They should be set free. For animals like dogs and cats as pets, they should be free to roam around the house as part of the family and not just tied or caged. And I think I agree to this belief. If I had known this, maybe I didn't think of of just letting Estong have a bigger artificial habitat. It would be best if I had just set him free in the sea when we went to Ilocos. I think that would make me feel a lot peaceful than just giving him away. At least, I think, it would be perfect freedom for him. Sigh! If only I had known earlier...
So this hobby of collecting turtle key chains, figurines, stuffed toys, accessories, etc. is an alternative to those who want true freedom for the living turtles. Some turtles are getting endangered nowadays especially that they have already been lined up in the series of exotic food. Oh, no! I think I will never eat a turtle! Heard of turtle soup? Oh, my! I remember a former classmate, Dreps, apologizing to me one day when she shared her experience of eating turtle soup in a restaurant. Haha! Of course, I didn't hate her. I miss you, Dreps!
to be continued...
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